Not Enough Lap

I may have to start eating more. I don’t have enough lap.

I’ve already mentioned my snugglebug chickens, Cheeto and Buttercup. Cheeto is lovey when he wants to be, but Buttercup wants love just about every morning, and he’s usually pecking at my feet when I’m still trying to get the fresh food and water out. I haven’t figured out how to separate the top & bottom of the waterer one handed yet, so I usually have a tantrum throwing rooster on my hands while I’m throwing the old water in one of the compost bins and filling it up with fresh water.

The other morning I had two lovey roosters on my lap and we were doing our morning cuddles when I felt a light pecking on my lower back. That’s what the boys do when they want to snuggle – they peck, I reach around to give them a skritch, they snuggle up under my arm and I lift them into my lap. Ok, these days Buttercup usually jumps when I put my arm out.

Anyway, Cheeto decided he’d had enough and hopped out of my lap so I reached around and pulled a surprised hen into my lap. She blinked at me a few times but didn’t try to jump down! Well, not until Mr. Cheeto noticed somebody else in Mama’s lap! There was quite a bit of squawking and wing flapping, and she eventually hopped down. Buttercup just watched the whole show. I suppose he was thinking “hey, as long as you’re not trying to get on my side, who cares.”

So now I’m going to have three chickens trying to cuddle in the morning. Don’t get me wrong, it’s adorable. I never imagined chickens would want to cuddle. Then again, I never imagined they’d throw tantrums either. That’s just one more thing they never mentioned in the books. 

Escape Artists

Here's another one that I didn't read about in the chicken books. Some of my feathered kids have turned into escape artists. If I don't open the coop soon enough in the morning, some of my little dears will stage a jailbreak. Don't let them fool you; "dumb cluck" is a contradiction of terms.

Take Honey, for example. I named her Honey because at first she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box and you just wanted to say "oh honey,, bless your heart..." Don't let that sweet face fool you though; if there's a way out of the coop or the run, she'll find it and stage a break worthy of a Stallone movie. The other morning, I went out to parole the chickens and Honey and Fuzzy were roming around the back yard. The minute they saw me, they hightailed it back to the run, squeezed under the gate and stood there blinking innocently at me. It turns out they had popped the screen out of the window and literally flew the coop. So I had two escape routes to fix - the window and the gate. Just what I needed before coffee.

The good thing is that if I can keep Honey in the coop, the others will stay in too. Not only is she a bad influence, but she's the smallest of the chickens. It's just a good thing she's cute and a good layer, and I'm a real softie. She'll break out of the run and when I put her back in, she'll peck around the yard, clucking happily and I forgive her for being naughty.

At least they don't go far when they escape. Dogs will roam for miles and cats can go anywhere but chickens will stay close to their coop. The farthest they'll go is the side of the garage near the front of the house. My only concern is that hawks, eagles and neighbor dogs will go after them so that's why they don't get to free range all day, every day.

I should write a book...